she woke up with a sticky ear
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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