you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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