I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
