Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
