i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize