Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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