Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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