Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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