Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
