that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
