Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
