people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
