bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
