The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Say something about gay babies.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
