ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
