Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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