Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize