I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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