I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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