Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
