perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
