his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
