I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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