every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
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