I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
