I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize