Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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