I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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