I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
