Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
