Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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