So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
