I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So much rum. So many feels.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
