Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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