He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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