You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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