uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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