the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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