what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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