He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
