Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
