i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
