I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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