it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
