And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is Oprah even human
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
