All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
