hell yes lets make some ravioli
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
