were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
