dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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