o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize