...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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