I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
