You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
