Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
