Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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