her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
