either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
