Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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