...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
