i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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