"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
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